Going to grad school won’t save you and learning to code won’t save
you. A retirement fund won’t save you and minimalism won’t save
you. Traveling won’t save you and a comfortable home won’t
save you. Meditating won’t save you and therapy won’t
save you. Curling fetal into a faint warm memory
won’t save you and living in another fantasy
of the future won’t save you.
Drinking won’t save you and
pizza won’t save you. Running a marathon
won’t save you and eating clean won’t save you. Dating
won’t save you and being alone won’t save you. In fact, every change
you can possibly make to the shape and position of your body won’t save you.
Being clever won’t save you and being liked won’t save you.
Solving your flaws one at a time in an attempt to project
manage your own salvation still won’t save you.
Reading the bible won’t save you and
worshiping the dead won’t save you.
Listening to music won’t save you
and making art won’t save you. Even
the happy afternoons on sunny patios when
the world shrinks to a freckle on your
cheek won’t save you because
nothing will save you.
You have to continue,
imperfect and exhausted,
without believing your pain
absolves all pain, without contriving
a reason to martyr yourself.
You have to hold
your broken vessel,
stop admiring the cracks,
and get to work
serving others.