Lunch

Let’s have toast
while the world ends.

Let’s argue harmlessly whether
this coffee shop is a church,
whether our barista is a pastor.

Let’s have tea in the sun
as a handful of corporations
spring from their garages
to possess us a little more.

Let’s dance in the discomfort
that our data is worth more
than our names.

Let’s listen to men with podcasts
tell us life is about success
and success is living
more like them.

Let’s spend twenty years
learning the difference
between love and attention
and then forget
right when it matters.

Let’s discuss the pros
and cons of being martyred
while we’re immolated
in our hometowns.

Let’s try to forget
it’s our extended family
governing those hometowns.

Let’s paint ourselves
orange to match the sky
as we disentegrate
and wait for a cure.

Let’s medicate with coffee
and pretend the anxiety
was inevitable.

Let’s whisper exit plans
and share the fantasy
that running might help.

Let’s debate whether our
fingernails will regrow
before we die.

Let’s perform every ritual
we can invent to consecrate
the afternoon.

But first, let me
take you to lunch.

Andrew, try to remember

Going to grad school won’t save you and learning to code won’t save
you. A retirement fund won’t save you and minimalism won’t save
you. Traveling won’t save you and a comfortable home won’t
save you. Meditating won’t save you and therapy won’t
save you. Curling fetal into a faint warm memory
won’t save you and living in another fantasy
of the future won’t save you.

Drinking won’t save you and
pizza won’t save you. Running a marathon
won’t save you and eating clean won’t save you. Dating
won’t save you and being alone won’t save you. In fact, every change
you can possibly make to the shape and position of your body won’t save you.

Being clever won’t save you and being liked won’t save you.
Solving your flaws one at a time in an attempt to project
manage your own salvation still won’t save you.
Reading the bible won’t save you and
worshiping the dead won’t save you.

Listening to music won’t save you
and making art won’t save you. Even
the happy afternoons on sunny patios when
the world shrinks to a freckle on your
cheek won’t save you because
nothing will save you.

You have to continue,
imperfect and exhausted,
without believing your pain
absolves all pain, without contriving
a reason to martyr yourself.

You have to hold
your broken vessel,
stop admiring the cracks,
and get to work
serving others.